Behold the Ides of March

As usual, right now I should be sleeping. I was on my feet for 7 hours straight, most of that in heels, and I'm exhausted. But I just found an old text I sent myself last year for no apparent reason and wanted to share ...

Last day of who I was. First day of who I am. - yours truly, 7.16.14

No clue what that's in reference to, but I love it! I think I'm still who I was though, and I'm dying to become who I am. So I thought I'd reiterate that statement on today of all days, March 15th, better known to you Shakespearean folk as the Ideas of March. The Ides has always been a great day for me to launch things. In college I launched my blog on this day and it was a great success. Today I feel like doing something different ... launching myself.

I've become bored with everything. Things are different, I guess, but still feel pretty much the same. I need freshness. I just want to feel brand new. I'm about to start sounding like a Drake song if I keep writing this paragraph so ... hitting the Enter key now.

Here I go:

Last day of who I was. First day of who I am. - yours truly, 3.15.15

Oh, would you look at that. It's the 15th of the month and the year ends in 15. This feels symbolic. I need that kind of power behind this decision of mine. It just feels right, and I need more right in my life.

You know what also feels right? Shutting this laptop of mine down for the night and going to bed. Yea, let's go with that.

Thinking Like a Grown-Up

Right after 2015 began, it started to sink in ... I'm a real grown up. Later this year I'll be 27 so I'm officially in the midst of young adulthood. What's it all mean? I'm still sorting that out. I know I'm old enough to have a keen sense of responsibility, but still young enough to screw up and bounce back. I feel like I'm more the former than the latter lately. I'm maturing and others are taking note. I recently met a friend of a friend who thought I was older than my friends when in fact I'm the youngest. If that's not a sign of my emerging adulthood, I don't know what is.

These days I'm reflecting on my life and what's to come next. I find other girls my age are waiting for the engagement ring from their longtime beau or pining away for a s/o. For me, my career is my bae and a lover's just a side piece. I don't find myself craving someone to love me; I love myself and that's enough. I just want to kick this career of mine into high gear. I have talent, and I refuse to let it go to waste. I just don't know what I want to do with it yet. I always sit at work thinking, "If I were to walk out of this office right now, what would be my next hustle?"

Though I've only been really working for about five/six years, I feel like I've had a dozen career paths. I was the blogger girl. I was the social media girl. I was the studio manager girl. I was the music PR girl. I was the freelance PR girl. I was the freelance writer girl. I was the city girl. I was the e-comm tech girl. I was the eco girl. I was the design girl. Now I'm the admin girl of three years wondering how I've stayed in one place for so long.

I need to be next level, but I don't know what that entails for me yet. Everything just feels so done. Nothing's really that "new" and "different" anymore. Trends are minimally altered and reemerge at least three times a decade. Everyone wants their 15 minutes which is now made easier with social media. Everything just seldom feels fresh.

What's not out there yet? That's what I need to figure out so I can create my own path, and thus, my legacy. I feel like I'm one of those people who has to do it on her own. Whenever I work for other people, I always feel let down. Promises are broken and things don't turn out how I thought. Building a legacy is important to me, and I won't be satisfied if I'm not working hard and creating something I can be proud of. I want, no need, to make my mark. Now doesn't that sound like grown-up thinking? Cheers to that!